Hope’s Merry-Go Round

(15 customer reviews)


Hope’s Merry-Go Round

Hope has always felt her life was like a carousel – a continuous ride of hurt, disappointment, and shame she could never get off of. After years of self-loathing and desperate attempts to stop her merry-go-round of painful abuses, Hope meets Laurie, a doctor with her own dark secrets, who might be able to help Hope get off the ride. Brick by brick, Laurie works to bring down Hope’s walls, and she begins to heal. Finally, the carousel stops spinning…

Written by Mary M. Cushnie-Mansour

Edited by Bethany Jamieson

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The Room
© Mary M. Cushnie-Mansour

It draws me down the dark, narrow hallway.
My tiny feet stumble past the heat register,
skirt the bookcase to my left.
The friendly light to my right
fails to invite me in.
The door swings open its toothless mouth,
reaching its tongue towards
my hesitant frame.
Come, little one,
come see what I have to offer you.

There is no escape.
It is a dead-end room.
I linger just inside the cold wasteland.
The grey, rumpled landscape is
rugged against my tender skin.
The blank window offers no warmth.
The light above is dim.

I am frozen in time.
Only time will release me from this room.
Please time,
Be kind.

“Out of the mountain of despair, a stone of hope.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Customers Reviews

(15 customer reviews)

15 reviews for Hope’s Merry-Go Round

  1. Shobana Gomes

    Shobana’s review:
    I would recommend Hope’s Merry-Go-Round to anyone as an enlightening and informative read. Often, as Mary says in her book, sexual abuse by siblings is seldom highlighted. The story will take the reader into the depths of hidden hurts and trauma of children at the hands of people closest to them, who turn out to be their worst nightmare.
    The story also highlights how parents of abused children often don’t notice the warning signs of bullies and tormentors among their children. Turning a blind eye to the predicament of abused children will draw a wedge between the relationship of a parent and a child, as is the case of Hope, who was bullied and sexually abused by her brother from the age of eleven.
    This heart-wrenching story will take you through the trauma of an abused mind and in the end, liberate you by the concerted touch of care and at the hands of gentle healing. In this regard, Dr. Laurie Hudson, and Hope’s best friend, Cooper turn out to be her saving grace.
    Mary M. Cushnie-Mansour has written a remarkable, touching story about the realities of sexual abuse and, lifelong effects on the victims… – Shobana Gomes

    About the book – by Shobana Gomes:
    Hope’s Merry-Go-Round is the latest addition to Mary M. Cushnie-Mansour’s collection of incredible stories told. The idea for the story mooted when she read an article in the newspaper about sexual abuse by a sibling, something she felt was an abuse seldom talked about.
    Here is the tragic story of Hope, a quiet child, often ignored by her mother and two sisters throughout her growing up years. She was the “unwanted” accident in her family, the child her mother was afraid to have due to pregnancy complications. Her sisters, Faith, and Charity were much more advanced in age, while her brother, Jeremiah, was five years older.
    Jeremiah’s mean streak began from the time she was born since he detested his parents having another baby. He would soon traumatize and hurt Hope even as a young toddler. Her mother would brush away his bullying tactics by saying that it would teach her not to be a cry baby, whenever Hope cried at his antics or threw a tantrum.
    The only consoling factor was that her dad doted on her, which made up for some of the hurts she experienced. She was somewhat comforted by the warmth and affection he showered on her, although he often turned a blind eye to his wife’s careless dismissal of Jeremiah’s taunts and bullying.
    At eleven, Jeremiah began to sexually abuse Hope, which lasted till she turned thirteen. Hope couldn’t understand how as a sibling he behaved in such an indecent manner and was helpless during the assaults. She kept the abuse a secret in order not to hurt her parents. Anyway, she wasn’t sure if her mother who doted on her brother and who could see no wrong in him, would believe her if she confided in her. She withdraws into her shell.
    She turns to a life of promiscuity as an adult, teaching during the day, and turning the nights into a sexual haunt.
    She meets and befriends Cooper, a gay, who turns out to be her best friend and confidante. He had his problems but was there for her in every way as a good friend. When she and Cooper were insulted by Jeremiah at a family Christmas dinner, Hope, embarrassed and disgusted, attempts suicide – her third try but is saved in the nick of time by Cooper who rushes her to the hospital. Cooper had saved her life once before.
    At the hospital, she is assigned to a medical counsellor by the name of Dr. Laurie Hudson. Laurie too had been abused by family members during her growing up years and had run away from home at the age of sixteen. She could relate to Hope’s suffering and wanted to help her overcome the trauma of a painful past. They become good friends.
    With Laurie’s guidance and counsel, Hope begins to heal as she slowly opens up about the mental anguish she had undergone as a child and the trauma of being a victim of sexual abuse.
    Jeremiah dies, and a hateful past is buried with him.
    The story ends on a positive note with Hope beginning a new chapter, a changed woman, more oriented to finding happiness and love as opposed to the sadness, fear, and shame that had hounded her all through her life. She finally makes peace with her family members.

  2. Susie Dyck

    Another incredible book by Mary M. Cushnie Mansour. “Hope’s Merry-Go-Round” is an amazing story. It is raw and tells of a remarkable healing journey. You feel the story as you are reading it, almost as if you are there with Hope. Thank you for this book… – Susie Dyck

  3. Dana Applin-Schmidt

    Hope’s Merry-Go-Round is very heart-wrenching and kept me on my toes the whole time; I never wanted to put it down! … – Dana Applin-Schmidt

  4. Mary Sass

    This story takes you for a riveting ride on an emotional rollercoaster. Such a fantastic read, capturing you from the very beginning and never letting you go. Mary’s ability to make you feel like you are a part of the story never ceases to amaze me… – Mary Sass

  5. Regina Jetleb, Author

    Mary M. Cushnie-Mansour does it again, dominating every genre she pens, whether children’s, mystery, poetry, fantasy, or realistic fiction. In Hope’s Merry-Go-Round, Cushnie-Mansour introduces us to a lovely but anguished heroine, Hope. We travel with Hope on her healing journey, crying and laughing with her but always rooting for Hope to heal and move on from her past abuse. Her friendship with Cooper is remarkable, and her sessions with her wonderful therapist, Laurie, are a treasure to read. This book is filled with sorrow but also hope that life can be filled with healing and happiness, even after the darkest of times… – Regina Jetleb, Author

  6. Carrie Davies

    Mary, first, let me begin by saying I love all of your books––even when they are not a genre I have historically enjoyed, i.e., vampire. I have now read Hope’s Merry-Go-Round, and I loved it! I could not put it down and looked forward to reading it until the very last word. Although it is a work of fiction, many parts resonated with me, including crossing boundaries with a therapist. I found the book cathartic and helpful from a personal standpoint… – Carrie Davies

  7. June Armstrong

    Tears flowed freely as I followed Hope in her journey of self-discovery. I appreciated where the story took me with such an intimate and intense narrative. This story could be the story of someone you know. That in itself is heart-shattering. If you want to take your emotions on a carnival adventure, Hope’s Merry-Go-Round is well worth reading. Wow, I am overwhelmed… – June Armstrong

  8. Ashlee Beal

    I loved the book! Fantastic read. Somewhere in Hope’s story, we can all relate to the personal struggles and the need to be heard. We have all known a Cooper and a Jeremy. Very relatable… – Ashlee Beal

  9. Haley

    Emotional raw look into sexual abuse

    Trigger warnings:: sibling sexual abuse, father and grandfather sexual abuse, suicide

    Hope’s life has been a consistent mess since her childhood and she cannot seem to free herself from despair; unfortunately attempting suicide multiple times. Admitted to a hospital once again with only the feeling of support from her dad and best friend she once again struggles. Enter Laurie, therapist, who finally brings Hope to her breakthrough point. As the story is told its eye opening and emotional, however, there are also times you just have so much hope and happiness. Hope and Laurie’s stories, although fictional, showcase real problems and can hopefully encourage other survivors to fight for themselves.

    Mary truly made an eye opening, emotional journey of healing available for others to either begin to understand or to help with healing themselves. She showed in this book how unfortunately family members truly may not have known and how even with the hurt you cannot heal until you take the steps both of these women did.

    Really did love this book even in the hard parts… – Haley

    ** I received this book through a Goodreads giveaway and this is my honest review**

  10. Jenn

    Heartbreaking and beautifully written, I had a lot of trouble putting this one down.
    So happy I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway! … Jenn

  11. Jessica

    One for any survivor…

    This book had me from page one. Powerful message for survivors of abuse and away to heal and move forward after… – Jessica (A Goodreads reviewer)

  12. Paulette, Author

    This was a great read. Story line got better and better… – Paulette (Author)

  13. Tracy Dishman, Goodread Reviewer

    If you’re easily triggered, this book is not for you.

    Talks of child abuse, sexual assault, suicide…etc. … Tracy Dishman (a Goodread reviewer)

  14. Gppdreads Star Ratings

    Goodread’s Community –
    5-star ratings from:

    Amy – January 5, 2022

    Viorica – December 26, 2021

    Amanda Morrison – December 19, 2021

    Haley – December 15, 2021

  15. Avatar photo

    Mary M. Cushnie-Mansour

    Paulette Breau
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    A journey of healing
    Reviewed in Canada on December 17, 2021
    This book covers the life of a woman’s journey of pain and suffering by traumatic events which took place when she was a young girl. The Post traumatic stress pushes her to attempting suicide. From the lowest point in her life, Hope finds the help that she needs. A doctor, who herself suffer the same type of abuse, leads Hope from the depths of hell, to wanting to heal and live her life with out the guilt and fear of her past.

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